Why ya gotta give me a label?

I have many labels, I usually don't subscribe to that whole label thing. Especially if you are trying to categorize me. But here is one that I just recently found out could apply to me. Generation Y, apparently what makes me a generation Y is the fact I wear flip flops to work, don't want work to be my life and appear to the "older generations" as selfish, neurotic, disrespectful and too smart for my own good. In 2005 USA Today said this "Unlike the generations that have gone before them, Gen Y has been pampered, nurtured and programmed with a slew of activities since they were toddlers, meaning they are both high-performance and high-maintenance, Tulgan says. They also believe in their own worth." Here is my thought....who the hell cares, and why does that matter. Since I can remember every generation has been hit with a label. Baby Boomers, Gen X, and now Gen Y. AND, the labels are randomly selected by the media who just happens to be the generation before. I have a novel idea....why not just stop giving the generations labels. I am my own person who might wear flip flops to work....will work my ass off "during work hours" and shows respect to everyone...even someone who might be below me on the totem pole. The fact I don't want my work to be my life is because IT ISN'T....you are who you are, not what you do. I think the older generations could learn a thing or two from us. If I'm having a meeting I will show up in a suit and I will like it, but if I'm filing papers, answering phones, book keeping or whatever else you might be doing in the 9-5 work force, why can't I be comfortable? Is it because "that's the way it has always been done?" GUESS what, I'm here to change the way it has always been done.

At it again

It's like a horrible cycle. I just want to scream and throw things around. Pay attention to me. What the hell has changed? I don't know, but I can feel it. I'm not ignorant. I'm done, if this is how it is going to be then you need to give me time to adjust. I spent almost two years not being treated like what I was, now in less than a week I am being treated as such. You can't even say that isn't confusing.

words put together

Im not a sensitive Baby

But I sure know how to cry

You would call me a regular girl

with a few irregular, tendencies.

I see the truth in lies, i can find them in your eye's

You see me broken, but that's just a shell, underneath

the power is there. But you refuse to see it.

You've underestimated me from the start

I don't lead with my heart

My blank stare is not stupidity

it's marveling at you unwittingly

I can hear things in your voice,

you give me no choice. I answer right back.

It's not a defense, to voice what I lack.

That's the bottom line

So I began to get frustrated

Yes, I said began. But what I really mean is "I am really fucking frustrated."

We can all pretty much agree that I have had every conceivable shitty boss in the know universe, yes I know I am not alone in this respect. I have no delusions that I am the only person on earth who has had a shit ton of crap boss's and I am sure that somewhere there are even shittier boss's than my formers but come on. This is me I am talking about, I'm narcissistic without being selfish, how else could I berate myself as much as I do if I wasn't narcissistic (side note).

Now, back to our originally scheduled blog. I think I have a problem...scratch that- I know I have a problem. Let me first say, I love my job right now, I love my boss right now. But every few weeks I have this overwhelming feeling that she is annoyed with my presence, that I have done something wrong, or not done something at all, and I fucking hate it. It make me so angry, I start over thinking things, I get that feeling I'm going to be fired. I go over every little thing I think it could be, it borders on OCD. Then it switches-I didn't do anything wrong, I did everything I was supposed to do and I didn't forget anything. I wish I could say this is where it ended, but no. Then the really bad shit starts- screw it if I did, if I messed up she should tell me so I could fix it. I don't fucking care anymore. It's maddening.

Perhaps this is because I care so much, perhaps it is because she tells me she miss' me when I am on vacation or she is on set/location for a few days. Perhaps because it is not a normal employer/employee relationship. I swore after working at the real estate office I would never socially mix with my immediate boss, well I've already failed on this count. My girlfriend calls my boss "the other woman." That's weird, isn't it?

Maybe my emotional sponge is also to blame, when she feels frustrated and angry I feel frustrated and angry. When she is in a good mood, I am is a good mood. Maybe this is where my fault lies.